Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Do matrimonial sites really work?

The right question would be - Will I find someone one way or another?!

Well......Life took an expected turn right after that trip to Goa. I got married and gearing up to be mommy in early Jan 2010.

After all my futile attempts at finding a partner I finally gave up last year in May when I turned 36. Its not my style or preference to ask for help (large ego) but I did - ask my parents to intervene. They almost dropped off thier chairs and suddenly there was excitement after a minute of stunned silence. The unexpected suggestion i got from two sixty something people was "Try a matrmonial site"! I would rather dig a well and jump in it than trust one of those things.

So, yes i did get many solicitations from about 50 guys a day to check out thier profiles and marry them. Some 67 year old man who I thought my mother should marry! - wrote in to say that he is a grandfather but would like to find someone to share his old age. No I didnt find it odd or funny but I'm not Anna Nicole Smith!!
Another was a 22 year old from a village in Madhya Pradesh who was looking for - a smart, young, fair bride. I was wondering if it was even important to be have a brain and limbs that worked in this case?!

I was begining to think that this was a crazy idea and if I did not find someone to settle down with I think I would be miserable for a while but eventually make the choice to be happy. Easier said than done I think. But not impossible. So after turning down some ridiculous people I stoppped checking out my profile and left it to fate. Then I get a mail from Ranjit which for some reason I did not delete from my mailbox but did not revert to either. I was on holiday in Dharamshala at that point in time and couldnt be bothered by worldly things like marriage. But 15 days later he wrote back asking me to say yes/no atleast - which i thought was intersting. Because the trend on these sites is that people have short attention spans and never seem to remember who they wrote to. Thats why when he wrote back to me i did ask him to call and we could see if our ideas matched up.

After a brief conversation over the phone we met for coffee. That was the 5th of Oct , 2008. The meeting went into two coffees. We kept in touch off and on through my holiday in Goa . And met again for dinner. Everything remained formal between us. I didnt think much of it expect that I was able to have a decent conversation with this person.

3 dinners later he proposed and I took 10 days to say "Yes!"
Late Jan 2009 we were married. And early Jan 2010 we'll be parents.
By the way I only said "Yes" to marriage........!!!

I did think it was too soon to come to that decision but I think ultimately its about whether you want to take things as they come or want everything "just right". Which by the way is never possible. In our daily lives we've forgotten that we met on the net - as cheesy as that sounds -
its ultimately about Life in RealTime.