Goa - always the best place to be in

I always feel a sense of relief to get on a plane and go away from Delhi. I don’t dislike my hometown but it only brings me back because I have friends and family here.

To get on a plane to Goa! ……..is a whole other feeling which I have no words to describe. But this time was different. I was going for more than the usual 3-4 days. I stayed on a total of 8 days and had the most unforgettable time. Not to mention the envious friends back home who let me know over and over again how they felt.

Day 1 to Day 4 my travel companion (Anu) and I were so hassled by the constant badgering by men on the road that we were irritated enough not to leave the hotel at all one day. Only when another male friend joined us we were at ease and felt just a little bit safer. I have been to Goa before and never faced this kind of behavior. Then I chatted up some local shopkeepers and they told me that “these guys” were all from Delhi and Mumbai looking for a “good time” in Goa.

The high concentration of police force told me that there was something wrong and they would be at every crossing, nightclub and business place. And since I did not have any sense of time, date or any other world outside of Goa, my dad told me when I spoke to him that they were looking for a local politian and his son who had raped a German tourist. In the last 2 years crime in Goa seem to have shot up and unfortunately it may not be able to retain its footloose and fancy free image for very long.

There is so much baggage that one carries when going out anywhere on a Metro. Where in the world would you be able to go from sitting at a beach side shack and having the most amazing crabs with the sand under your feet, to walking straight into a nightclub straight from there in your bathroom slippers! No makeup required, not fancy clothing, no cellphone, no bag……just cash will do.

I have never been busted by the cops for anything. Yes. I have tried to be a conscious citizen, but on this particular holiday I was busted twice! Once for riding a scooter without a license and the next night for triple riding! I wouldn’t advocate breaking the law to anyone but it was an extremely filmy experience. Though I must admit I was a little stressed while it was going on. And my two new friends from Mumbai, Misha and Raj, dealt with the stressed out little me and the cops like seasoned actors!

Friends in Goa.

I made friends with a Kashmiri shopkeeper on Baga Beach who runs a little clothes shop with his dad. He was an interesting guy who charges his customers Rs1 extra for everything he sells because that’s his lucky number. I don’t know if that’s a gimmick but when I bought things from him I did not have a one rupee coin and it bothered me so much that I went back after 2 days just to say hello and give him a coin.

Hassan is actually an expedition climber who had to give up his studies to help his dad run the business because his older brother died of an incurable illness. He came across as pleasant, knowledgeable and courteous and had tremendous PR because he remembered out names when we went back.

And there were 4 guys from Mumbai

Misha - well spoken, calm, a ladies man and good company. He also hopes to make it big in Bollywood where he is going to assist his dad in a movie.He says he’s a complete romantic but his girlfriends always leave him......:-(.....thats sad. He and I must never get on a two wheeler together. We got busted together both times!!!

Raj - I could write a book on this happy Sikh from Amritsar who entertains all the time and will make it big in Bollywood someday soon. I hope to visit the Golden temple soon and will be staying with his typical large hearted sardar family!

Siddharth - the brat from Amritsar who would compromise nothing to have a good time

Ashish – I did not get to know this guy so well but I’m sure he’ll find his way through life his way.

Thankfully we met them and that’s what made the holiday memorable. We talked, partied till 5am at Mambo’s and Kamaki.

MBA not required

My friend Lama Devi (aka Priya) who is brilliant at studies decided that she wanted to do her MBA. Ok. Thats great stuff when you wants to do good work in the future but what she actually must get an award for is the word - Diversify!

Diversification in finance is a risk management technique, related to hedging, that mixes a wide variety of investments within a portfolio. Because the fluctuations of a single security have less impact on a diverse portfolio, diversification minimizes the risk from any one investment

Let me explain that better. Lama Devi is the name she was given by a friend because this girl seems to have a left brain - right brain balance which is unmatched and will be able to make you see things that are good for you when you are confused or in a state of Panic. Her favourite word to me has been- Diversify. Which to me means - Multitask to her it means Try Everything Life.

Her gyan to me has been "Meet different people (men). That way you'll have an open mind and wont get hung up on one person. And if you feel that there is a connection only then move forward". I wont go into the details
of my learnings from all the liesurely exchanges we've had on Life but my take has been that I finally did Diversify. I quit the rat race to go solo but diversify in Life by doing the things I always wanted to. Travel, meet people, do good work, relax, read a book etc etc.

So all you need to do is meet Lama Devi to get an MBA on Life.

Note: She goes away to work in the UK in the next few days. So if anyone needs any Gyan please send in enquiries asap!

Right here. Right now!

Some spiritual journeys begin without one willfully acting on some of the thoughts that one has to achieve peace and happiness. Sometimes one doesn’t even know that it’s the happiest and most peaceful time in their life – Right Now.
I’d like to believe I’m in that place Right Now! And want to hold on to it more that one minute longer till it’s completely suffocates me and I want the next wave to hits.
This is by no means a spiritual journey. Its only that the my hands were itching for the beads today at the Dalai Lama temple and the Buddhist monks inspired me to call The One above and say – Thank You for Everything.
The Calling – has to be from deep within when the weather doesn’t matter, the busy street with polluting cars going up and down and a million colours cannot distract you. I noticed several monks going past me on the street with beads in their hands and a chant on their lips and a complete look of Bliss. They have held on to that moment And I’m sure it’s a tough journey there. Unlike mine, who paid only 800 bucks to get here and taste a little bit of their Right Now moment.

Day 1
We hopped off the bus this morning after a 12 hr journey on a bus from Delhi. I though my brain would freeze in the AC Volvo bus. The concept of traveling in air conditioning in India means that you must be willing to put up with getting value for money!
The ride on the local bus from Dharamshala to Mcleodganj was about 10km uphill and cost just 9 bucks on the local mini bus that leaves every half an hour.
The room we are staying is really unexpected for a sum of 250bucks a day. No food catered by the way. But who cares. We have a spacious, modern room overlooking the hills that has a hot water.The rest of the day was spent doing the touristy stuff. Walking around town, eating, taking pictures and soaking of the very sharp sun. The place was expectedly dusty and polluted I must say. But the room is a little bit away from all the madness and feels like home already.
I’m looking forward to a going to the Dalai Lama temple early in the morning tomorrow and spending some time looking within. As my two friends relax after a hectic day of walking around for about 8hrs which we’d never do in Delhi.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 2
I’m writing at 9pm this after running for my life down a flight of about 100 stairs in the dark to my hotel room because we were followed by some fellows from the mall. Not locals. They looked like the Dalhi type.
Basically, bad idea for 3 girls to be waking around in the town square aimlesslessly. This place is full of drunks looking for a good time and India is still not used to having women walking around on their own. And we we could have very well raised an alarm if anything happened but who wants paparazzi on a holiday?
Phew! So so basically the highlights of the day was the fact that I had slept for a little over 10hrs straight and woke at 6am all ready for my trip to the Dalai Lama Temple. 7am I was there. Small places wake up early and some basic vegetable shops were already doing business and the old men were already gossiping on the road sides. One young local walked caught up with me just to make conversation and figure where I was from and where I was off to in a hurry that early in the morning.
The temple was Peaceful (can’t find a better word to describe it). Hardly 30 people there. And everyone was in deep prayer walking around with The Bead in their hands. I felt completely Blissful.
I was ready for my morning tea now. And the Mandala Café in the way back to the rooms was a perfect stop for a quiet cup of Tulsi Tea and fresh air.
After breakfast we stopped to buy a “Chubba” – the outfit of the local Tibetians here. They come in awesome colours. So the shop was filled with a buch of local girls and the three of us tried on every colour that was available – Electic Blu, Blood Red, Pink, Golden, Rust, Brick. The entire fashion parade was backed by the ooohs and aaahs of the girls in the shop and we had a great time just wearing the stuff. Ofcourse we did end up buying one each so that we can wear it to some “Dalhi Party”!! Pure Tibetian fashion.
I’m currently feeling like my stomach has a bag of rocks in it. Recounting the gluttony of the day
1. Tulsi Tea

2. Continental Breakfast – Omlette, toast, butter, jam, hash brown

3. Marble cake

4. Momos (atlast) – a big bowl with the soup and about 10 of them in it

5. Chocolate pastry – shared

6. Banana chocolate muffin

7. Chicken curry and roti at a dhaba that we spotted by chance. – this was pure bliss!
And now I feel fat and happy and ready for a munching session and conversation with my friends.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Day 3

I already feel like this is home and I have a routine – go to the Temple in the morning, have tea and breakfast at Manadala, make conversation with the other travelers, stare into nothingness, walk about, eat some more………..! And to top that I have a CD of the Om Mani Pame Hum chants playing in the background as I write this. Life is perfect.

We met an Israeli girl at the café this morning. She was different because she had this mountain dog (still a puppy) who had actually adopted her. They seemed made for each other. I could related to her. She was reading Eat, Pray Love (the book I when nuts about a month ago). Leela’s (that’s her name) father is an insurance agent and mum is a teacher back in Israel. She trained to be an actress after not liking the Interior Decoration profession so much. She’s been in Dharamshala for 3 months and I hope we will meet again when I go to Goa next month.
Then without planning it we walked down about 1.5km after lunch to St. Johns church. We took the longer way but totally worth it. Awsome fresh air and green everywhere. The church was locked but but looked the part for a scary movie.
Sadly, this evening I leave for Delhi on the 8pm bus. But not before having the chicken curry and rice the dhaba guy promised to keep ready for us. I’m sure I’m going to back for a much longer time.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I must add this - Its sad that the Tibetian people who are so spiritual and happy have to live in exhile. I could see thier flags in roof tops and little signs of "Not Made in China" everywhere. I am Born Free and live in a democracy where I know I have a home and the right to speak my mind and to vote. Its the basic right of every human being to be able to practice his religion and live on his land and voice his opinon. I hope that someday we will have a Free Tibet.

Work-Life Balance

How is Life different from Work if both are mixed together and u get to do it your way?
General items under the Life category:

1. Spending time with family/friends
2. watching movies/reading books
3. traveling/holiday for more than 3 days in 6 months
4. lounging around the house, doing “nothing”
5. watch grass grow
6. listen to favourite music loudly for hours

I'm sure there is a million things that come under that category and some people will have things like knitting or cleaning up or retail therapy (me) on the list!

Lets talk about Work. Everyone works. So whats so great about it?
Only thing is that it pays your bills and makes for all the things that you want to do in Life.
Sadly, its a vicious cycle. I gave away about 14 pairs of sandals and shoes that I wasnt going to wear anymore. When i added up the value of all them it came to about 10k. Thats all it would take to educate a needy child for a year. What a waste. I feel like a fool. I've been earning all this money and putting it to no good use.
If Work was realy feeding Life then it should have made my head also stable enough to Share!

Auroville - the circle of peace!

Day 1

14th August 2008
I am booked on a flight at 4.20pm to Chennai enroute to Pondicherry.
I shut shop on the 13th thinking this is going to be a memorable trip and the first one in many years with a close friend to a place that is got some family history.
There’s one little problem. I don’t board the flight.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Instead I’m standing in the 4 hour long traffic jam going towards my parents’ house in Noida (outskirts of Delhi on the opposite side of town). There is a “bandh” due farmers protesting, there are cars burnt, 200 policeman, rain has brought the capital to its knees and I’m thinking – God, not now please. So here I am stuck in my car where instead I should be checking into Delhi airport with a happy smile in an attempt to find peace and heaven.

The miraculous little gadget – the cell phone is my savior – I call the airline and manage to get my flight rescheduled to 5.30am for the 15th of August (India’s Independence Day) hoping I will have got Independence from my situation by then.

So I call a friend to give him an update and end up talking to him for a while till I cross the bridge into the suburb. He does manage to keep me a little distracted from my perilous situation. The road by this time feels like a sardine can packed with cars was spilled on the road. My checkin time at the airport is 3.20pm, instead I check in at home at that time, completely exhausted on the other side of town!!!???!! Instead of fretting about it too much I tell the tale to my folks, while I have chicken curry and rice. Then fall asleep promptly choosing not to think about it anymore. Then I get a head massage and fall asleep again. Its pouring, dark and cold outside and the news says –
“Delhi struck by 5 hour long jams and continuous down pour”! – I don’t regret my decision to change flights.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Day 2
15th August 2008

I’m booked again on a 5.30am flight to Chennai enroute Pondicherry.
Our hosts are Roshan Thomas his wife Susan and their adorable little daughter Annie who has made friends with Leena (my travel partner and friend for the longest time). I see Leena waving both her hands in the air and I dont remember a warmer welcome in the recent past. She had gotten there from Mumbai the night before and had her 5hr sleep. The Thomas's go out of thier way to be good hosts and take us for breakfast to resturant at 8am that serves the yummiest dosas in town. By the way I dint know that resturants open that early in the south because in Delhi all of them open around 11am. We stuff our stomachs. Thank god! because the next part of journey is is going to another interesting bit.
About 11.30am we are running waving down a local bus to Pondicherry!-

Since we had not done enough research on it and dint know that it was far better to either book a volvo from near the airport or hire a cab (which Leena did suggest but I had shot down for some silly reason).
The bus has one cramped narrow aisle which seems to be the only place for us. Leena takes cue from a woman standing right behind me - she sits on the floor of the bus. We are both amused at ourselves but soon settle down and start catching up on life. This is natural. We do manage to take some pics.
We get to our destination without any other worth telling story! (for a change) and meet our hosts there - Sabastien and Sandra. Sandra only joined him three weeks before we got there but already looks like a pro riding her bycycle through the very crowded, bustling and polluted streets. By then we had got ourselves the Rs. 40 a day hired bicycles for the rest of the trip.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wait a minute - the still not over - how can it be?? Its me remember??:-)
Okay I'll save you the suspense - I unknowingly donate money worth 2 trips like that to an old lady! - yes my wallet gets stollen along with cash and cards and drivers licence. But I chose to have insomia within an hour of the incident but did have little flashes of reminders for the rest of the trip. Amazingly, I wasnt really devasted. Only a bit hassled about my drivers licence which is a bit of a pain to get remade when u've never looked it for more than a decade.
The picture on the left is taken less than hour before "the incident"!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Day 3
16th August 2008
List of achievements
- Sunrise @6am
- 25km bicycle ride (i wish i could paste Leena's glorious expression here)

- Still had courage enough to eat at Rendezvous
Ofcourse, I dont think any seaside destination is done justice to till you've seen some awsome sunsets and rises. We did that bit. And again there were more people than i expected at 6am.

I must mention the closest thing to a french bakery which serves croissants at 7.30am. Its called Daily Bread and is quite busy even that early in the morning. Sandra and Sabastien joined us there then after a leisurely breakfast we headed to Auroville. The ride between Pondicherry and Auroville is about 7km through a very busy, noisy, polluted and potentially dangereuous main road. But people seem to be used to cyclists which ofcourse does not mean that you are safe.

We stopped at a beach. And from there Auroville was another 4km in the opposite direction. I dont think I want to say much about the beach. I'll simply say that its not a "touristy" beach. So we just sat around at the local eating joint and had juice and conversation. Then proceeded to Aroville and I will let the pictures speak......
And we did see the centre of Auroville after all......the Banyan tree and the meditation center (Matri Mandir) just a few hundred feet from it.

A very special mention to Leena for putting up a brave smile and trying to ignore aching legs, hands and some muscles she discovered on that fatal day. By this time she had dropped all her plans to get a bicycle for herself back in Mumbai!!! - lets not even go there. And Sandra for being her guardian angel riding right behind her all the way there and back and saving the day.

Dinner saved day! - it was a 45 minute wait for the food at Rendezvous but the prawn dish I ordered made up for it completely.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 4

16th August 2008
We get caught between a rioting mob somewhere in a village between Pondicherry and Chennai!!!

I think the fact that we were in a state government bus saved us for sure. We could see atleast about 70-100 angry men on the outskirts of the village with logs, sticks, beer bottle and anything that they could get thier hands on. Angry faces, frothing at the mouth and running towards anything that wanted to pass through the village. We saw some busses that were of superior make that were standing on the roadside with windows blown to bits. The personal cars passing by were getting the same treatment.

Everyone was holding thier breath.

Thats when i noticed that even the most ordinary people in India have cellphones. Its a good thing. You never know when its going to be handy. Maybe just to say goodbye to your family..........

The woman next to me was making quiet calls to her husband and at one point held on to my arm when glass was shattering. Leena was nervous too and praying for things to calm down to be able to go back to her daughter safely. I was nervous - but when I think back I think I was Calm. I guess that because there is nothing much one can do when there are a 100 angry and violent people to deal with.

We were held up for atleast 45 minutes and then took a detour from the village and reached Chennai at 5pm back at Roshan's house.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Day 5
Both had very early flights back home. I think we could both barely smile from the exhaustion when we said goodbye.
Leena and I agree on one thing though - The gods could not handle us together in one place at one time!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had wished for Independence from my boring life - Hahahah!!!
Moral of the story - Be careful what you wish for.
PS - Its been less than a week from the day I got back and I'm already looking forward to my next trip. And looking for a travel buddy.

Status: single/married/seperate/in a relationship/rich/poor/religious (specify religion)/gay/kinky/boss/subordinate/

Status is a matter of curiosity, I discovered that fact over the weekend. And felt like the paparazzi was following me and I'm Kate Moss..........no not funny.........actually some of it is.

I have a profile on a networking site where all my friends are listed. Some are from way back, some I met at parties, some are people I got along at work with so I allowed them to have a little window to know what I'm about. Its really quite a timepass to see some of my irresponsible/flunky friends from school and college become responsible people.

On my profile it showed some information that I thought was unimportant. It said I am single!!!! - what i dint know was it was such a matter of curiosity. Not realizing that my action to just not display that fact would have my inbox bombed!!!! And my phone also spammed!! I was amused and horrified at the same time. So I did try to explain to a few of them but then decided that I dont have to do this. And at some point I started to get really irritated. So I've let it be.

The experience was incredible though. The fact that so many people get a kick about knowing whether you are single/married/seperate/in a relationship/rich/poor/religious (specify religion)/gay/kinky/boss/subordinate/...........okay thats a bit much but you get the picture. I cant deny that maybe i would react the same way if i were the audience but this one was an eye opener.

Addiction to Life

I think i am what I am because I have a terrible addiction to Life and everything that comes with it. I wouldnt miss want to miss an experience that I could remember for a lifetime. Ofcourse that means taking responsibility for all ones actions because there are good and bad things bound to happen. And sometimes the result of an action can be quite the opposite of how you wanted them to be. Thats the painful part. But we all seem to bounce back somehow.

Having said all of the above - we all have an urge to hold on to the past and punish the present. Thats the worst type of exsistance one can have. Because even though we may have the choice of enjoying everything the moment has we are too busy already making judgements and assumptions about our entire Life. How can anyone do that to themselves? I do it sometimes. Then i say - never say never. All this is too good to miss and I'm greedy. Why should I miss a chance in life that I may not have again.

I am the result of my circumstances. Completely.??. No some of that is just some choices I made. Some good, some bad, some just because I wanted to see what happens. Yes. i'm chicken sometimes. Terrified sometimes. Coward?....dont remember being one. But always tried to do the right thing and thats where I got killed!

Save a song

Bird song, rain and green (a few million shades) is what I will remember most about my last trip (besides an aching butt from cycling down a very rough path)

The birds don’t acknowledge you because you are not meant to be there. They just go about their business – picking worms, cleaning beaks, singing, once in a while checking your distance and intent - and you are expected to keep out of their way. Of course they know that you exist near by knowing fully well that you cannot fly! - and therefore cannot harm them.

Birds have a sound for every occasion (I think they have more value for simple things too). Sign of food, happiness, finding their kind, everything is marked by a song/sound. And none of its singing is ever futile. We on the other hand have wasted words and that comes to us so naturally. Saving a song only happens as a “Save As” on a computer and singing ones heart out only happens at karaoke night in the hope for perfection and not in pursuit of expression.

Moms!

They never see things the way you do. In this case it was a clearly printed t-shirt with the words right there. And she still dint see it.

I bought a really cool green shirt and it was a size too big. All I asked of mom was to exchange it for a smaller size and make sure the color was the same – pista green. I open out the t-shirt and it says – “Don’t F**K with Me”………I’m like mom what have you done? She has no clue what I’m referring to even as I hold it towards her and hope she reads it. All she says is – You wanted Green, I got you Green!

I actually had to read it out to her aloud. Something I would have never imagined I would have to do. I went back and forth about exchanging again or keeping it. I’m keeping it. Only because my mom got it for me :-)

Lost and Found (twice)

It’s a little strange to meet a senior from school after 20 some odd years and then meet his son who is a Xerox of the father. I met a real charming little six year old who cannot sit still even when he was eating. Shucks, I’m getting old. But as long by first name I’m okay!
Except when you get to know the little fellow you realize that he has own mind and knows that he the route he wants to take going up on the large sofa where everyone is parked.

Last Cigarette

My last cigarette happened last night – just like that. Smoking was making me crazy. If I had any time at all I would light up and the 15 minutes of sucking up nicotine also gives one time to think. And I don’t want to. I’m not treating this as a major life changing event like some of my friends are but I guess when you’ve been killing yourself softly for some years, they are happy with your decision to stay on (healthier?! Not longer please)…..though I must admit it did fill up some empty times for me and I will miss it just for that.

There are just so many times in a day that I’m grateful everything I have. Which doesn’t make me a saint. Just trying to be real. One has to keep reminding themselves that it’s all worth it if it’s been hard earned. We all have more value for the things we struggled for. Anything that came easy went easy as well.

Okay I’m not going to be on this topic after this and no sermons to other smokers about why they should quit. Everyone needs to find their reason.

“Choice” is a nice word

When you are sad you can choose – Happiness. Which doesn’t mean that it’s easy. It’s just a Choice.

Today is a very dear friend’s birthday and this piece is a tribute to her. I have seen her going from being a giggly college kid (she has her serious side) to being a mother of a wonderful intelligent, artistic girl who is growing up too fast. And I’m afraid she’s going to be taller than me in just a couple of years. My friend has made choices, some not so good, some great some just simple. Simple choices are nice. Like the choice to dress better, exercise, chant, be a great mom! They are easy to keep and easy to live with. Her choice is Happiness. Of course her butt needs to be kicked once in a while by yours truly :-)

We have a love-hate relationship. I don’t expect her to do everything I ask her to do but lately she’s picked out the best parts and made it her own and given me more faith in god than I ever I had before. She chose to chant and make a life shift and things just fell into place. She ain’t no saint though! No way in hell.

The choice to be real when everything is forcing you to be someone else and have you think and see things some other way around is stressful. My brain goes on a blinker around such people. It’s not only tiring and its also quite pointless. A point of view is nice but a everyone is entitled to their own. That’s why we’ve been friends for so long. We’ve (unknowingly) chosen to not each other and chosen the best things from each others experiences to make it our own.

So babe! – you have the choice of suffering my company for the rest of you life or ……..actually on this one you don’t have a Choice!

I want to be fish feed!

I haven’t made my pilgrimage to Goa this year. Will absolutely happen though. Anyone who knows me a little bit knows this – Urmi wants to be fish feed! – Strange after a whole lifetime of being a fish eating Bengali !! What irony. Maybe that’s my way of “giving back”!

Whenever I finally go to hell I would like to the path to be through Goa. Don’t bury me, don’t burn me, don’t mummify and don’t put my in the well of death. Just roll me into the sea in Anjuna. It has a little but of elevation (like the hills) and has the sea in front. Perfect. Unreal? I don’t think so.

Sneakers for my old age

I have a disease – I’m not politically incorrect.

Once upon a time (fresh out of Art College) I was around some friends and discussing our wishlist in life. What we want at 50 - ??

Answers ranged as follows:

1. House full of art and grand kids
2. Farmhouse outside delhi
3. Want to be a famous/rich painter
4. Want to work with the worlds top advertising firms
5. Want to design accessories and clothes

My answer – I want to own the finest sneakers. If god is kind then a car or a bicycle will be nice.

My friends ofcourse had a priceless (pun intended) look on their face. Next question was – Why?

My answer – so that I can see and experience as much as I can of this beautiful piece of art/architecture that I’m standing on!

Silence. Then laughter followed. The they fun of me. And I took it in my stride. Frankly I didn’t take myself too seriously also. Maybe not a 100% anyway. So then I was asked for a more realistic answer so I gave a one (as some of you may know I even got that wish for a while)!

Time went by – I got into the madness of life. Though I must admit I’ve loved most part of it and I guess it’s the experiences that make you. I love all my friends and have met some amazingly nice people. They have so much heart. Makes me want to be a better person. I guess I’m plain lucky. Ultimately its only that stuff you remember, atleast that’s the way its with me.

So I guess its time to make them all pray again for me so that I do get my pair of sneakers! :-)

I see fireflies lighting up the path for me……!......Thankyou god

Things happen for a reason. Old saying. And everything happens for the best. And I’m grateful for everything, truly.

Some things make happy in the long run (whatever that means) and some things will make me happy forever. I figured I want to share my love for music, art, the wilderness, food, culture - in short – I want to share my lust for life with my family and friends.

The last 12 years have been spent in doing the regular stuff. Now I cant wait to for the rest my life to begin. From regular office going life which suited me just fine (I’m lazy and bad with money!!) to a life that that may seem some sort madness – but get fireflies these days to show me the way. I trying to get through the bills, mails, meetings, driving to work early, performing at work etc etc just like I have forever but all the time I’m saying to myself – not for long (hopefully).

My dad once told me – even if you win, you’re still a rat!
No way in hell. Nothing wrong with wanting to be a rat but ultimately you’re stinky, disliked and eat out of other people’s plate. I would be happy to eat dal – chawal on a banana leaf and photograph or paint it or just take it all in as a memory.

As I write this piece I’m sitting in a meeting room with 9 other people. I’m sitting at one end and the projector is at the other end. Thankfully I not presenting, only listening (multi-tasking Gemini). To me this looks like a path with the fireflies going about their business while my mind wanders. I see fireflies again – this time in the day!

Fat Weekend

Weekend started slow. Ended with a burp!

Too much food. Lots of talk. Saturday was a pleasent change. Can home at 4am.
Only clincher is that I was made to believe that theres something wrong with me! If I loose my cool or react I'm abnormal. I dont think of myself as a very calm person anyway. I'm opinionated. Yes. But psychotic? No ways. Mad? Yes. Happy. 80/20.

Promising myself to being as happy as I have been for the last 3 years. Nothing will get me down.

Realisation - Eat and be merry.
PS - Dont get fat

No Pain No Gain and Still Smiling

Phew! Pain! my felt like I was an Egyptian slave who had lugged a 50 ton stone to the top of the pyramid. Better today and my smile is back. But I got stuff done at work that was stuck for 2 weeks. Thank u god.

Moral of the story - no pain, no gain.

One more day to the weekend. And hopefully I will get out of town after that for a days. The city is making me crazy. Lost my camera in all the messy move so I guess I'll buy an even better one before I go.

Moral of the story - no pain, no gain.

crazy molecule logic

The pain is killing me. Physically its my back. I dont know if its the odd yoga postures or the general stress. Mentally - office is exhausting. All i need to do is find myself the nearest massage table, stick an ipod in my ear and space out for a century.

Okay, let me write fast and get on with the day.

Last night I was listening to Old Lang Syne. The sing means talks about in times past. The words in the poem Old Lang Syne referring to 'We'll take a Cup of Kindness yet' relate to a drink shared by men and women to symbolise friendship. It made me go back a long way and recount the friends I've made. I don't necessarily have them in my life even today but the association was beautiful, memorable, funny, mad.........and ultimately if one remembers people with fondness it says a great deal about the quality of their association with each other.

Its said that the universe listens to everything. Each time a thought crosses your mind you are literally willing/wishing for it to happen. Every molecule in the universe is accounted for and nothing is for waste. Gosh isn't he a mathematician, physicist, biologist......God! But for now I'm grateful for what I have and whatever will happen I know he will take care if it through some crazy molecule logic!

I, me, myself!

A colleague at work mostly writes mails saying saying - " I want ......./I think......./ I dont agree......"

Its important to have an opinion but its a rare quality to find someone who takes feedback when you are trying to work towards a solution together. And more surprisingly if the person claims that he thinks about the good of everyone when all his sentences start with "I"

Haunted house!

I think i needed to do this for a long time but chose to find excuses.
So anyways, my new place is treating me well and feel safe. Living in guragon for 4 months made me go a little nuts i think. I would sleep with a iron rod next to me, jump at the slightest sound and never dream of leaving the house after 8.30pm. Missed my folks a lot for a first time in life. I've lived away from my family for more than half my life so I never thought it was going to be a problem. But i was wrong.

The house.
Two bed rooms, two bathrooms, two balconies, drawing, dining, kitchen. And me! Lost inside it. Had a horrible entrance. Something about it was errie. Not that there weren't people around but that dead calm around it was sickening. Got me bad luck, made me stressed out and irritated. I went from being a happy/mad person to an insecure/scared person.......hated it.

Then my landlord wanted to sell the house! yipee good for him, making money. But the decision to move back to civilization was simultaneous and Lama Devi (okay don't get impatient. I will reveal her identity at some point) came to the rescue. Now I live on the top floor of their house and feel safe ie - sleep for atleast 7 hours each night. Settling in still and getting my brain back in order.